This comic is the first actual appearance of DGC. Don't wait up for the next one.

ASW (DGC) out.

If this comic's a bit late, we apologize. Getting these ready can be hectic sometimes. BTW, this comic resolves the whole name bit, so now our two heroes have names. Stay tuned for more comedic humor in the future.

This is the Creator, signing off.

It is alive... kinda.

There is one comment that I have to make about this comic. This comic was mostly written by DGC, except for Authorman's quips, and well... that tablet isn't what I suggested. The one that I suggested was "No Fat Chicks". Bam! That's beautiful! Who would have ever seen it coming? It's like if Jesus brought down the 10 Commandments and his first one was "Hoof Arted". It's would be zany and funny, but it got shot down. I guess DGC thought it was an insult to him personally by having DGC seem... like he's in a... oh what's it called... how about in a fucking humor comic! Well I'm pissed.

On another note, the NFL prediction page will not exist. Probably ever. Things have gotten busy between me and Creator being at school and DGC's... well I guess his nap time, to really get the page done. I could blame DGC all day (try it it's fun), but it is partly my fault for not doing the NFC at all. So enjoy the AFC predictions! Also where (Note:) is something that I wrote in at the time I posted, not when I wrote this during the preseason.

Many of you out there may have been wondering some things like:
Where's Authorman's Post?
Why is he late?
Why do I care so much about an obscure sprite comic?
What does the Sun look like?

Late.
Just because.
Because your face looks like the ground after the Battle of Iwo Jima.
A big ball of yellow.

Well getting all that out of the way I now will introduce:

MY NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE PREDICTIONS! (Note: See AFC)

AFC

AFC East

New York Jets:
J-E-T-S INJURED INJURED INJURED!
Well lets face facts people, Chad Pennington is gonna be out for most of the season and well Vinnie Testaverde hasn't been good since... well not for a while. Before I had them as just missing the playoffs now I have them:
6-10, Joy!

New England Patriots:
The Patsies (as I like to call them), are well... a much better team than last year. With additions like Rosey Colvin, Rodney Harrison, and the huge bargain pick of Dan Klecko, the defense has been retooled against the run and become much more effective. Oh and who can forget Ted Washington giving up deep-dish pizza for the chow-dah.
In all:
11-5, Good show for a bunch of No-mah loving, 'Toine booing, beaneaters.

Buffalo Bills:
Wide Right! Wide Right! No you're not in Tallahassee after another "Battle of the War Canoe" Game. You're in one of the most miserable places in this country of ours: Buffalo, New York. Fortunately the football is good. Damn good. With a defense that is improved by newly acquired Takeo Spikes and Sam Adams (figured he'd be a perfect fit for those Patsies), and a powerful running game headed by Travis Henry and backed by very viable backs Sammy Morris and Olandis Gary the Bills should improve this year. Not to mention a actual solid o-line with sophmore Mike Williams. Oh yeah and there's some guy called Bledsoe too.
To sum it all up:
13-3, Real damn good.

Miami Dolphins:
Hmm... Brian Greise was failure in Denver, Junior Seau couldn't outrun the kicker, and do we even have a healthy wide-out? Well we could always fall back on Ricky Williams. Ricky can't save them himself and they will drag to maybe:
7-9, and Dave Wannstedt getting canned.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens
Hark the raven, maybe later. Even with Jamal Lewis running and the rook Kyle Boller in there, and even counting a healthy Ray Lewis, the Ravens aren't there. Maybe next year, until then pass me one of those damn crab cakes.
Final Score:
8-8.

Pittsburgh Steelers
Put on your blue collars and hard hats people we're headed to Steel Country. The Steelers will finally get life into their running game with Amos Zereoue, and finally park the aging Bus. Nothing against Jerome Bettis, but his days as the starter on the Steelers are no more. I think he still has some life in those legs, but it will have to be for another team. Overall I think this will be a great move for them and with a solid defense and Touchdown Tommy leading the offense, this team is awesome all around. Plus you can't go wrong with a name like Fuamatu-Ma'afala. (Note: Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala got cut by the Steelers after I wrote this so dock off a win)
12-4 (11-5), with only one logo on their helmet and that's all right.

Cleveland Browns
Hello Cleveland and let me assure you, you do not rock. Ever. Welcome to Cleveland, Ohio; Home to the Worst Sports Fans this side of Atlanta. They're nasty and vile, but not in the fun Philly way. They abandon their sports teams, (Caviliers and Indians) or they boo every fucking thing that moves, but not in the bitter Boston way. This is the case of the lowly Browns, being booed for every thing that they do. They even made Tim Couch cry (Are you happy now? You made him cry.) Well on the subject of Tim Couch, lets ask Butch Davis this question. "Who do you choose for your QB? The Six-Million Dollar Mouse of a Man who couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat? Or the Undrafted free-agent who has started only 4 games and lost 3 of them?" Well we all know that answer.
7-9.

Cincinnati Bungles, I mean Bengals.
Well, finally a city I feel sorry for. Not only did the Reds just have a fire sale, but their football team sucks too. Damn sorry Cincy, but I got to do it. Even with new coach Marvin Lewis and top pick Carson Palmer, who by the way was the most overrated player picked in the last draft, the team won't get far. They might make .500, but then again a squadon of flying pigs may fly out of Donald Rumsfeld's ass.
3-13, and that's me being nice.

AFC South

Tennessee Titans
Many people have picked this team highly when they go around doing their little prediction chart and many of these people have picked the Titans for the AFC representative in the Super Bowl. Now this is a nice safe pick seeing that they have Steve McNair and Eddie George on offense and Jevon Kearse and Samari Rolle on defense. However if you know me, I hate safety. I'm predicting injuries and all-around underachievement will derail this team to:
7-9, the lowest you'll find 'em anywhere in the world.

Houston Texans
As good as it is to see football in Houston again, I'm sure people expected halfway decent football. In its second year of existence the Texans will not make the playoffs this year like many predicted last year. In fact the Texans are horrible, and at least 2 years away from being just plain bad.
4-12, maybe Carr should wear two helmets.

Jacksonville Jaguars
Ugly and disgusting. No I'm not talking about the white trash beaches or the typical Georgian vacationers; I'm talking about the football. The only good game that's gonna be good in ALLTEL Stadium will be the Georgia/Florida game. As much as I love Byron Leftwich, whom I believe will be the best QB since John Elway (Yes, better than Favre and Vick); the Jaguars are the worst team in football.
2-14, 'Nuff said.

Indianapolis Colts
When people listen to the kicker of the team bash the head coach and star QB and they don't lynch the soccer princess, you know things are bad. Mike Vanderjagt was right; this is a gutless team. I'm predicting a decent regular season followed by a disappointing post-season loss. Oh and Edgerrin James will never be the Edge again.
9-7, good enough for a spot in the playoffs in this division.

AFC West

Denver Broncos
Finally, failure is ejected from the QB slot and filled with... failure. Don't bother listening to what Shanahan says about the "Comeback Kid", Jake Plummer is a joke of a QB coming from a joke of a franchise. Even with the blunder at QB the Broncos are still really good. Clinton Portis was a monster last season and Trevor Pryce is always a force to be reckoned with. They should do well even with New Elway 2.0 at the helm.
9-7.

San Diego Chargers
Who can hate San Diego? They can be jealous, but how can you hate this beauty? The footbal team is very good and even when losing Rodney Harrison and Junior Seau they still added the now healthy David Boston and Lorenzo Neal. Their offense should shine with the Purdue chicken man Drew Brees and LDT (not LT, there is only one LT). All around they should do well, even though it would be a shame if they moved to LA.
10-6.

Oakland Raiders
Did someone just say moving to LA? It looks like Raider Nation may move once again back to the city that sorta cares about their teams, LA. This is a distracted team, and even the Ageless One is become the Aging One. This ancient team has very little behind their primodial veterans and are due for a breakdown. Also to clear the record, Romo is a punk, always was a punk, always will be a punk.
6-10, with injuries to at least two out of these five, Rich Gannon, Tim Brown, Jerry Rice, Bill Romonowski or Rod Woodson.

Kansas City Chiefs
Ah, Kansas City, Home to the best BBQ in the world. Also they have some decent football. Priest Holmes got hurt last year (you didn't hear?) and he expects do better this year. I have some news to break to you, Priest Holmes had a career year. Period. He may get 1500 yeads with 16 TDs but he still won't touch what he did last year. Ever. Other than that, they have the best o-line in the game led by Willie Roaf and Will Shields.

11-5, with mountains of the best damn ribs ever.

That's it kiddies, hoped you liked them.
Authorman